Spanking is a national pastime

An adult story about spanking, read with caution

And it’s one,
two
three strikes
you’re sore
on your
ole’
bottom!

If there is in fact a ‘National Pastime” I am convinced it is spanking.

‘Welcome everyone to this beautiful Saturday afternoon at Memorial Park. Today we have a monumental clash between the Swat Masters and the Scarlet Tanagers. Both are currently undefeated in the ASL, [American Spanking League] and the Swat Masters are defending champions. We expect an epic battle today going down to the very last spank.”

“I agree Kurt 100%. This titanic tilt today is the premier paddling possible in this short spanking season. The athletes are warmed-up and are eager to swing the lumber for the fences.”

“A good crowd on hand today, I estimate about 30,000 jammed into this stadium. There’s a ballot initiative forthcoming asking for public funds to construct a new venue. I’m not sure the community wants to pay higher taxes.”

“I think given the quality of the home-standing side, the overflowing crowds and the media coverage, building a larger arena is a no-brainer, a homerun, a humdinger of a great idea.”

“Thanks Stewart. The introductions are over and the players are assuming the positions. A brief explanation if you are tuning in to the ASL for the first time. Each team has nine players; one at a time bends over home plate and the opposing pitcher delivers strikes and balls. In this case, he/she doesn’t throw from the windup, he/she stands behind the behind of the batter and whacks them with a wooden paddle.”

“That’s correct Kurt. As with baseball three strikes and the batter is out. A strike is when the batter lets go of the ankles. A ball is when the paddle blow fails to make the batter unclasp. So a total of three paddles up to seven will be given per batter.”

“And after three outs, the teams switch sides. As you can imagine, playing a full nine innings is plenty painful for these athletes. Being in the nude certainly doesn’t help.”

“Of course all teams can field no more than four men at a time, I hear there’s a long waiting list to join the ASL.”

“For men?”

“No Kurt, for women! They can’t wait to get drafted in the fantasy leagues.”